A Friend

I've been thinking about friends... the kind of friend I appreciate and the kind of friend I hope I am for others.  It's important to have friends to encourage us, guide us, listen, and sometimes even give us loving correction.  When I visit with a friend, I welcome all of those things.  It's not always easy to hear reminders of where we have messed up (you know, that affirmation of what we already know), but sometimes those discussions with friends give us a dose of humility.  Nothing wrong with a good, loving humbling every now and then :)

The friends I feel most comfortable around are the ones who, when I speak those raw, unrefined thoughts, know my heart and look beyond the words for the truth of what I mean.  They don't expect the worst, rather they expect the best.  The beauty of real friendship is to be able to see the love in the heart despite the words.  Somehow... feelings heal quicker when the best is expected and seen.  Truth is spoken in love, when it sometimes hurts but needs to be said.  The best of friendships is where growth is always desired, despite the pain of it.  You know, those growing pains that God allows to refine us.  I crave that (not the pain, but I know that pain comes with growth). 

Seems as though there are things that are off-limits in some friendships.  I always appreciate knowing the boundaries, but if there are too many then I am going to step back into the shadows.  Be glad.  If something needs to be said but not discussed (you just need to vent something out loud, but do not want advice), please disclose that up front.  This is an aspect of friendship that is foreign to me.  (I vent things out loud in my shower when I am not looking for a response).  I can do it, but need to know your expectation up front.  I don't express something to a friend unless I am looking for advice or direction.  That's what I expect, and it's what I give. 

I'm a lovingly raw and real kind of person.  Those who are closest to me are the same way.  Maybe that's the safety of love, of knowing where we stand with each other at all times, and growing together to be better in all our responsibilities in life.  It's the continual "becoming" that is important, and true friendships are vital to this growth.  I'm thankful for the friendships that the Lord has given me--blessings in my life.

Prov. 17:17 -- A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Prov. 27:9 -- Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.